Have you ever done something you knew you had to apologize for? Maybe you embarrassed someone or maybe it was an insensitive remark. We all do things we need to apologize for, but the steps we take afterwards matter.
When we continue to do the same kind of things over, we have not truly learned from our mistakes. Sometimes, the more helpful thing to do is to look further than just the apology. If we truly want to make a difference and change our patterns, we need to take next steps. Reflecting on what we could have done differently, and examining how to get there helps.
If we are truly going to change behaviors, attitudes, and actions, it takes work. My personal favorite question to ask myself is what would a more loving and kind response be?
Just recently it was brought to my attention I had made someone feel uncomfortable. I thought this person was fine with our interaction, but later, I found out it was not ok with her. This is not the first time I have blundered in the area of communication. The thing is, I have a Masters of Social Work degree. The degree program taught me how to communicate effectively. When I realized I could have communicated in a different way, I took time to reflect, and asked myself, what can I do better next time and what is the most loving response?
Upon examining these questions, I started to realize I received my degree 21 years ago. I never fully licensed myself, mostly, because my life took a different path. Well now that I’m involved in running programs that have synergy with my degree, I knew the best thing to do is brush up on my training and get my licensure.
This means needing to study all the things I have not touched in 21 years.
This to me, seems daunting, Is it easy? No. It requires money, and time. It requires studying again and taking a test, but is it worth it? Yes.
Making sure I am an effective communicator and trained to handle sensitive subject matters, is worth it.
See, I want to truly better the way I communicate and not just offer lip service with an I’m sorry. I want to do better next time. For me that entails dusting off skills that have a lifetime of benefits.
What are your next steps?
~From the heart and desk of Miss Julie~
