Inner Critic, Part V

It’s helpful to remember that the  inner critic is not always your enemy. It can be helpful; an ally.  The inner critic becomes problematic when it follows another person’s measure of good or bad. Opposingly, it becomes a trusted friend when it meets your wants and need, especially when you positively coach your inner critic. For instance, if you notice you are triggered by sharp words used against you, you can remind yourself  to do some deep breathing to calm down your mind long enough to call a friend, go for a walk, or remind yourself of your value. Therefore it can be your enthusiastic supporter, and not someone else’s.

When your inner critic becomes your cheerleader, you notice the messaging you are telling yourself when interacting with others. You slow down long enough to hear what you are saying to yourself. You have choices. You can listen to negative thoughts that protected you when you were little but are no longer helpful and hurtful, or you can create a new way to recognize your inner critic. 

By acknowledging your inner critic you recognize its worth. You honor it. You can thank it for its original purpose in your life and then decide if you want to listen to it. You may want to have a conversation, “Hello, I know you. You were helpful once. Are trying to belittle me?” or “Thanks for sharing.” These phrases put distance between you and the inner critic. When you create space between your thoughts, you are more likely to use your emotions as a tool and not the driver of your choices. 

Give it a try. We’d love to hear if you have noticed your inner critic and started a conversation with it. What was your inner critic protecting you from? Did you need it in the past? Does it still serve you well, or is it limiting your quality of life?

To learn more about the Inner Critic, check out Alice McDowell’s Hidden Treasure.