Resilience: Cultivate Optimism

Are you an optimist? Unfortunately, I’m a pessimist but I’m trying to change that by focusing on what I can control rather than what I can’t. Even though it seems easy enough, I find it challenging. 

I found two factors helpful to shift my mindset. First I try to identify what I can actually control by listing factors in a given situation that I have power over, like my mindset, actions, and responses. For example, I can’t control other people’s opinions, but I can control how I respond to those opinions. If the answer to my question, ‘Do I have control over this?’ is no, then I mentally set it aside, like placing it on a shelf. 

Secondly, when someone says hurtful things, instead of impulsively reacting, I have the power to control my attitude or my response. In such situations, I often notice my heartbeat speed up indicating I’m feeling anxious. This sensation reminds  me to slow down so I can respond instead of react. This pause helps me to shift from blame to something more useful like giving myself and others the benefit of doubt, or grace. 

I think our world could use a whole lot more grace. Do you agree?