Inner Critic, Part II

Last week we touched on a psychological coping mechanism called the Inner Critic that wanted to help you. Unfortunately the inner critic’s help is based on a false belief that you must adhere to outside expectations to be loved. And, the more you followed these outer standards, the more your spontaneity, aliveness, and inner power diminishes and it is difficult to experience joy or know what you want and like to do. 

         I hear your big question. “How are kids taught basic rules of behavior and how to get along in society or our families if there isn’t an understanding of consideration and respect for others”? You are correct all kids thrive in structure and be taught how to live in coordination with others so that they know they belong. Parents and caretakers optimally balance outer standards (expectations they have on the child) and at the same time confirm the child’s internal value. When there is balance between external and internal validity then the child develops self dignity. A strong sense of self helps prevent us from the being taken advantage of. 

To learn more about the Inner Critic, check out Alice McDowell’s Hidden Treasure.